When Buddies Collide
by Anonymous Eyes of Dormant Sins
Summary: A crazy ass one-shot! *No one was harmed during the acting of this play and viewers discretion is advised*


_Enter Sonic and Tails_

Sonic- Were pals right?

Tails- Yep. All day; all night; forever.

Sonic- And nothing's gonna fuck us over right?

Tails- That's right! Nothing will ruin our long time bond! We made history man; made history since 1992.

Sonic- Now that's long!

Tails- Then check this out, girls come at us with their graphical features and that didn't fuck us up!

Sonic- We're some thugs bra! That's that bond made by faith.

_Enter Sora and Riku_

Sora- Man we been through some SHIT bra!

Riku- That's fantasy for you. Don't underestimate those Disney fags.

Sonic- Who are y'all?

Riku- Fag who are you?

Sonic- You lookin' for trouble?!

Tails- No Sonic! Let me bust a cap on these fuckers.

Sora- These intensities are nothing compared to XIII entity.

Sonic- What?! Who that?!

Riku- Animal retards.

Tails- Say that shit again yellow pee body!

Riku- Gay Fox, swerve your ass off the hedgehog's dick!

Sora- Don't they look married?

Sonic- We know our sex. It's y'all that's sex free!

Riku- How about this, what ever walks and talks goes opposite.

Talis- Silverback fuck off! Humans know no limits!

Sora- Female Asian, go eat some fried rice.

Sonic- Nigga go do somethin' about your bush lice jacked up head! Fix your hair line too!

Sora- Bitch please! Duffel bag material.

Tails- Static generator. Newton called and he wants you to stop defying his laws of gravity. Einstein wants his electrons back!

Riku- This queer suck. You lack roast. Jack off on your friend bra.

Sonic- And you need to end these gay ass remarks.

Riku- Y'all lovers so make love!

Tails- Be in check.

_Enter Mario & Yoshi_

Mario- Let's a go!

Yoshi- Bring it bitches!

Sonic- Maybe later y'all.

Tails- We have gay and gayer up in our faces right about now.

Riku- Did you hear that shit bra?!

Sora- The spotlights on them is all.

Yoshi- Oh shit Mario!

Mario- What up?

Yoshi- It's em' roaches with keys.

Sora- What do y'all dumb asses know?!

Riku- Fuck them kids. These gay animals are the threat to society son.

Yoshi- "Fuck them kids!" Did this silverback...  
Mario- Chill'a Yoshi.

Sora- Molesters.

Mario- You said the wrong shit to the wrong person!

Yoshi- Let me egg his ass!

Mario- No I got George Bush!

Sora- "GEORGE BUSH?!" Really plumber ass fag?!

Mario- Check your head out. Curious George and bushes combined let's a you go.

Sonic & Tails- GOT 'IM!

Yoshi- Let me egg these roaches!

Riku- You animals make me sick!

Tails- You know what Sonic, ring this bitch man.

Sonic- I smell chicken cunt.

Sora- Time the fuck out!

Riku- We need backup on this one! Bring them girls bra!

Mario- No women! This bitch is all's guys!

Yoshi- Let's show these key faggots our smashing skills!

Sonic- Let's get em' my staunching side kick!

Sora- Fuck this!

_Sora exits_

Riku- Wrong move bitches!

_Riku exits_

Sonic- The power of friendship and collaboration.

Yoshi- Shit is potent yea!

Mario- We all need buddies.

Tails- WHAT THE FUCK?!

_Return Sora and Riku with an army of heartless monsters_

Riku- Do something now cockfags!

Sora- Speak up niggles!

Yoshi- MARIO PUT SPIKE JET LI ON CHECK!

Mario- He said niggle, not nigga.

Yoshi- I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! HE SUGAR CODED THE SHIT!

Tails- Racist fuck!

Riku- We got a puppet on our hands. Pah, ha, ha, haaaah!

Sora- I'm done with this. KILL THEY ASSES!

_The army rushes at them._

Sonic- Let's show these people how we do!

Mario- Bring your asses!

Yoshi- Lavender Blaze the Cat brown chocolate asses! BRING IT NIGGAS!

Tails- It's bust time; Walmart arts style.

_War arises_

Sora- SLAY THEIR HEADS AND GIVE IT TO US!

Riku- FUCK THAT! EAT THEM FAGGOTS!

Sora- Damn bra.

Riku- It's that damn fox! Blasting them bitches wit that gun bra!

Sora- THUNDER!

_Thunder comes and scraps the gun to pieces; killing off some heartless and paralyzing the fox along the way_

Sonic- FUCK!

_Sonic rolls to them_

Sonic- What's y'all deal anyway?!

Sora- What about your man?

Riku- He can't fend without you.

Sonic- He can take care of himself. Nigga been paralyzed all the time.

_Sora and __R__iku dashes away from Sonic and says "mine dispersement!" Setting visible mine traps along their retreat_

Sonic- These pussy ass niggas right here.

Yoshi- HERE SONIC!

_Yoshi throws a golden egg at him while still fending off the heartless; Sonic catches the egg by leaping for it_

Sonic- What's this for?

Yoshi- We will kill as many of these pitch black niggas as we can! You'll need that egg ready for special delivery to those married faggots!

Sonic- Just throw it at one of them?

Yoshi- Throw it- BACK OFF NIGGA!- Throw it between the bitches! GIT YOUR FRUIT EYES OFF MY TAIL!

Mario- KEEP EM' A COMING!

_Tails was ambushed by shadows and soldiers! While they hold him down, Large body comes rushing to him for a squashing perish._

Tails- OH SHIT SONIC! HELP!

Sonic- Better hurry!

_Mario shoots fireballs at the large threat, it had no effect but tickling him; Yoshi smashes eggs at the large circle, it barely flinches and keeps on rushing._

Mario- Fuck!

Yoshi- Sorry man. We tried.

Tails- He's a fat fuck with a fat body with a fat check with a fat hygiene with a fat diet with a fat car with fat feet with fat arms with fat clothes with fat maids WITH A FAT ASS LIFE!

Sonic- Man how in the hell I'm gonna dodge these magical mines? Shit! They are more of a pussy than Eggman.

_Sonic looks around and sees a heartless with a long sword accosting him; he slays the pitiful enemy with no problem and takes his sword_

Sonic- Hmm, maybe if I do this...

_Sonic tosses the sword in the mine field; it blows him away some feet and rockets the sword to eternal space_

Sonic- Ah dang. Wroo what a ride.

Tails- C'mon Sonic GET UP!

Sonic- Chill Tails.

Tails- DO YOU SEE THIS FAT FUCK?! HE'S NOT PLANNING ON STOPPING NO DAMN TIME SOON!

Sonic- CHILL THE FUCK OFF DAMMIT!

Tails- HURRY YOUR ASS UP!

Mario- HEY GIRLS, I NEED FULL CONCENTRATION ON THIS SHIT OKAY!

Yoshi- DAMN IT'S TOO MANY OF THESE FUCKS TO EVEN REACH THIS NIGGA!

_Sonic gets up and rushes off_

Sonic- Just fight them fags off a little while longer okay?

Mario- We will try 'cause that's what Nintendo's all about.

Yoshi- We on a time limit here! Kill the faggot ass niggas or we will all die! We straight?!

Sonic- I got your bitchy ass covered.

_Sonic reaches the top of a hill, where you can see everything __from the left end of the crowd, the slaying of the brutes, and the other end of the dark crowd._

Sonic- It's that all y'all pussy asses got?

Sora- That's child's play.

Riku- This one's real.

_The kingdom __heart__ villains summons their keyblades and comes at Sonic; __swinging at him like wild ass cavemen. __Sonic had a hard time coming up with a brutal comeback; every time he evades one feral swing, another one comes point one second later._

Sonic- _This shit is gay!_

Riku- Give up porcupine rat.

Sora- This can go on all day.

Sonic- _How in the fuck am I gonna throw this got-damn egg between these fuckers?!_

Yoshi- WE'RE LOW ON STRENGTH SONIC! THROW THE GOT-DAMN EGG NOW!

Sonic- NIGGA I'M TRYING!

Tails- DAMMIT JUST THROW IT!

_Large Body reaches Tails; banging his stomach at him._

Tails- DO OR DIE SONIC DO OR DIE!

Sonic- HELL NOOOOO!

_Sonic hurls the golden egg at large body's head; he pulps down; out cold_

Tails- That's what's up! You fuck his ass! Thanks Sonic!

Yoshi- Wrong PERSON NIGGA! SHIT! Mario duck.

Mario- Why?

Yoshi- Just fucking do it!

_As soon as Mario duck, this rainbow wave morphs merely above the tip of Mario and Yoshi's head; it turned every heartless into light and Ansem to a skeleton._

Tails- Damn yo! Sonic, Don't come down here man!

Sonic, Sora & Riku- DAAAAAAMN!

Sora- That rat had an atomic bomb.

Riku- Fuck that. You're mine nigga!

Sonic- "GO!"

_Sonic puts Riku's lights out after he socks his entire face with a potent fist; __he falls off the cliff and dies._

Sonic- Me and you now. C'mon, bring your ass.

Sora- You little shit!

_They go at it once more._

Mario- How long is this thang gonna flow?

Yoshi- Get comfortable Mario. We will be like this for a good ass while.

Mario- DAMN YOU SONIC!

Sonic- I just had to do what I had to do.

Yoshi- Nigga all you had to do was slam the got-damn egg on them!

Sonic- But y'all still be fighting so I did good.

Yoshi- Nigga please!

Tails- You still having a melee though.

Sonic- This tree is nothing.

Sora- Bitch STOP RUNNING!

_Sora shoots different elements at Sonic; __Sonic rolls around in circles forming a tornado in order to destroy the deathly projectiles, then he launches it at Sora; Sora blocks it._

Sora- Do better than that pork eating fag! Oh shit.

_Sonic runs him over in his ball form and knocks him to the glazing rainbow._

Sora- NOOOOO PLAYSTATION ALL DAYYYYYYY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_Sora dies._

Sonic- Got ya ass bitch!

Tails- You got them niggas bra!

Yoshi- Yea I should be weeping with joy but no! You made me stiff as hell!

Mario- GET THIS FUCKING RAINBOW OFF ME!

Sonic- I can't do nothing sorry guys.

Yoshi- YOU USELESS SHIT! HOP YOUR SKINNY ASS ON THIS BITCH THEN TRASHY ASS NIGGA!

Tails- Find the chaos emeralds and pick this shit up.

Mario- NIGGA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO! MY BACK IS GIVING OUT!

Sonic- Tails, you know how long that's going to take?!

Tails- We'll wait.

Mario- The HELL we will!

Yoshi- WE DON'T GOT NO CHOICE NIGGA NOW DO WE NIGGA?!

Sonic- Nigga chill!

Yoshi- NIGGA WHO YOU?!

Sonic- I'm a fucking hedgehog bra. Thug from Greenhill nigga.

Yoshi- Nigga you don't know me! I will blow your ass up in my sleep nigga! I'm a thug nigga!

Mario- BITCH I'M A GANGSTA! I will STEAL your girl and fuck her in your got-damn face!

Sonic- BITCH TRY IT! I FUCKING DARE YOUR ASS!

Tails- CAN Y'ALL STOP THIS BULL! WE WILL BE HERE ALL DAY ROASTING ON EACH OTHER! LET SONIC GO GET THEM EMERALDS!

Sonic- It's not a walk in the park Tails.

Tails- Just get the bitches okay?

Sonic- Fine dammit! I'll take my sweet ass time then.

Yoshi- NIGGA REALLY!

Mario- Whore The Whorehog you serious?!

Tails- Make bureaucracy shine! Bust a cap on them diamonds!

_A rather large woman appears before Sonic_

Sonic- Who are you?

Rosalina- I'm Rosalina. Answer these questions with "real" answers.

Sonic- Girl I'm always real.

Rosalina- Yeah like the time you was fake around Amy.

Sonic- Well that was different. I didn't want to hurt her feelings you know.

Rosalina- Heed my words, be real or get drilled.

Sonic- I never fought a woman in my life but you're amazon so you can handle this!

Rosalina- Humph. I was hoping you can be entrusted with these rubies, but you're too caught up in the "ghetto."

Sonic- Bitch please! You're a ghetto queen your damn self!

Rosalina- I want prestige! Now..  
Sonic- I want it too.

Rosalina- Interrupt one more time.

Sonic- You ain't gonna do shit.

Rosalina- Quit sucking your mothers tit.

Sonic- BITCH DID YOU REALLY SAY THAT?!

Rosalina- I'm wasting my time.

Sonic- It's best you leave now.

Rosalina- You kicking me out?!

Sonic- GO AWAY!

Rosalina- NO!

Sonic- YELL ONE MO' GAIN!

Rosalina- NIGGA PLEASE! Unless you know something about "real life," I have utter authority.

Sonic- BIG WOMAN GO!

Rosalina- I'm not that big!

Sonic- Your shit is wide so yes the fuck you is! Relax your new growth and them tracks.

Rosalina- Heh, and you're talking, you need a little more work taking care of your grassy ass head. Fix your sin curve hair line while you're at it.

Sonic- Bitch your shit look like a got-damn beehive!  
Rosalina- And yours look like a molded toilet; with piss and shit included.

Sonic- Girl...woo you're wrong for that. I nurture my shit real good then here comes your large ass roasting on my shit.

Rosalina- Yeah I see that; mountains of dust mites. Keep it up.

Sonic- What's with your face girl?! Did the other side get burned off or something?

Rosalina- Not until I saw you and your lice up head.

Sonic- Why are you still on my head?!

Rosalina- Negro it's fuck, to the up!

Sonic- Okay you win shit. Now shut up about my head.

Rosalina- Fuck the questions. Take the rubies and be on your way.

_Rosalina gave the seven emeralds to Sonic_

Sonic- What about the questions?

Rosalina- Maybe some other time. I cannot talk to a person who don't give a fuck about their scalp! I will throw up talking to you.

_Rosalina exits_

Sonic- Then THROW THE FUCK UP THEN! Bitch better be lucky she was too damn big; I would've fucked her got-damn face up. Fat ass can smash the whole damn building down by leaning on it with no fucking energy. Big ass can shake the bus and collapse the bitch! Bitch ass will go through the stairs! She will take up the whole damn theater! She's a house herself; Walmart, Sears, and other hardware stores combined can't be par to her big ass! She got Kirby beat; she can eat this whole planet up if she wants to with her BIG MEGA ASS MOUTH!

_Sonic morphs into his super form_

Super Sonic- Bitch, you can't out roast the roaster; female good the fuck luck bitch! I been barbecuing on niggas since my first game came out. Bitch you better practice on a faggot who's pompous as hell 'cause I ain't the one! I will burn your ass up with benefits bitch ass nigga!

Yoshi- NIGGA CAN YOU STOP BITCHING! SHE AIN'T NO JOKE! BITCH MEAN AND SHE KNOW THE GAME!

Mario- More than you nigga and trust me, you can't diss her like that. She been through shit you can't even fathom going through. So hang that shit up, suck the bitch up, and deal with it dammit. She's old enough to be your fucking mother, and you know mothers know; so you'll be a damn fool trying to bash her ass up. It's like punching a spiked collar; it will bleed but your ass will bleed out more.

Super Sonic- Niggas whatever. Y'all don't know shit.

_Sonic carries the rainbow glaze and shoots it at the universe; __making it a spectacle sight t__o__ see._ _He __massages__ everyone, making them flex once more for life; like they didn't even crouch just to freeze like statues. __Chaos emeralds exits_

Tails- You never cease to save the day Sonic.

Yoshi- You need to work on making a better decision on dilemmas.

Mario- And don't piss the wrong person off.

Sonic- So this is the thanks I get?

Yoshi- Nigga you did fuck us to an uncomfortable position nigga.

Mario- I'm just saying, you better be lucky she didn't do shit to you.

Tails- Buddies all day!

Sonic- All night.

Everybody- Forever!


End file.
